Reunited: Mother, son meet over 44 years after abandonment
He would like to think that she would think of him every year on his birthday, would remember the three days she held him at home in Nova Sintra, Brava, Cape Verde Islands, Africa before she placed him for adoption or live with gradmother (most likely).
They finally met again Friday in a downtown Providence hotel. His name, after all these years, is still John (João) apparently grandma-ma and gr-grandma adopted him in effect. He still remembers crying for three days after she left a thing psychologists call separation anxiety.
"There’s something inside of you that just, it’s not settled. It’s just not," Jovina said in an interview, her eyes welling with tears, just minutes before she would meet her son. "A part of me is somewhere, and I just wanted to know where it was."
John Silva was born in Nova Sintra, Brava, Cape Verde Islands, Africa, attended a one room schoolhouse near the church, until he was 9 ½ yo.
He was bread in Bklyn NY and attended PS 261 on up to the High School of Art & Design and graduated from CUNY’s City College of New York, with most of the coursework done at John Jay College of Criminal Justice NY, NY. Graduating with a Master of Science in Computer Science from Long Island University years later.
He always knew he was kindda adopted but had not begun to search for his birth mother until his niece died last year and his uncle came to get him. He wanted to tell his birth mother that he was OK, and that she made the right decision.
The state shares information about birth parents with their children if both generations want a connection. John Silva, who now lives in Orlando, Fla began the process in January but delayed mailing the paperwork.
In July, John was on the phone with his mother, reviewing the results of her DNA test through the company 23andMe.
"I hit the button, and it said 'John Silva. John Silva shares 50% of your DNA,'" Jovina recalled. "And then it said, 'John Silva is your son.'"
Jovina had always been convinced, and told her husband and one of three children, that one day she would see the son she placed for adoption when she was 3 years old. Still, the news was hard to digest.
"I walked around in the kitchen, and I thought OK, ‘You've got to calm down,’" said Jovina, who grew up in Brava, Cape Verde and now lives in Rhode Island. "This is crazy."
John Silva's phone lit up with an email. John had received dozens of similar messages from distant relatives, but this one was unmistakably different.
"It was a little unnerving to find out that way at first," John Silva said. "I was really skeptical about it until I got the paperwork back from the state confirming it."
When the confirmation came, Jovina and John Silva exchanged more messages and photos and set up phone and video calls.
"Every year on my birthday she takes a minute and thinks about me," John Silva said. "To me, that was really when the gravity of how much this has affected her kind of hit me."
They arranged to bring family members along to meet Friday in E. Providence/ Riverside, RI area a city interwoven with both of their lives. He is already planning a trip to Orlando FL next summer. After their initial meeting Friday, which was also Jovina's birthday, it was obvious that Jovina and John Silva had similar smiles.
"If I could have made a decision to have a happy ever ending story, this is it," Jovina said. "Seriously. And I knew. I’ve just always known, I don’t know why. But I’ve always known that this day was going to happen."
They sat side-by-side for a final interview together.
"I was a little nervous before, just because of the unexpected," John Silva argent said. "As soon as we met, it was just gone."
"I told you," Jovina said, gently.
"She did. She absolutely did," he said.
When Jovina was confronted by John about his circumstances as to why she left him at 3 yo, Jovina replied, "It's not like you were left, in the middle of the street." he pressed on with, "Why did it take so long?," "well," she said, "I had to figure out, first - 'How to bring you to America, legally.'" "Why did you NOT come to get me, 'Why send your brother?'"... He was going back to Brava, Cape Verde Islands to get his bride, and an arranged marriage, when they returned to USA in 90 days -- so it was convenient.
Unfortunately, this reunion didn’t last long, after 30 days living at the Riverside, RI home, Jovina, called the Police and had John escorted out of the house. The Police Sargent, Said, “She doesn’t want you here!” The Police negotiated for him to stay through the night, but he has to leave in the morning the next day, since it was well after 9PM at night, that night. The guess is he didn't ask permission or it upset his mother's routine... she couldn't have her boyfriends over... she doesn't talk much, so John's not sure what happened.
Jovina had gone through a Mastectomy and was a Breast Cancer survivor, within the past 12 years since they communicated last. Her brother, John’s uncle was remanded to an Evergreen Nursing Home with Prostate Cancer. Both are in their 80’s, Jovina is 87 yo and John Pina her brother is 82 yo. John Pina’s Oldest son a medical Doctor is making sure both are comfortable, to include his now terminal Father.
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