Dear Any: Everyone Should Have This Problem

DEAR AMY: My husband and I have been happily married for 25 years. We have two sons in college. We have a nice home in a great neighborhood.

The fact is, we are very wealthy. How and when do we let our sons in on the secret that they’re wealthy? They’re in college and have no idea. We pay their tuition, car payments and phone bills, and give them a modest allowance.

We have encouraged our sons to take classes in finance as part of their education and want for them to find fulfilling work, but the fact is that they never will have to work.

We are considering informing our sons of their wealth gradually and are taking steps to ensure that they don’t come into huge sums of money suddenly. We have all seen wealth ruin people — especially young people.

Do you have any words of wisdom on how to do this? — Stealth Wealth

Dear Stealth: Talking about wealth is like talking about sex; this should not be one conversation but part of an ongoing education.

Your sons will have to work. Everybody has to work to find fulfillment.

You could further your sons’ financial literacy by giving them less — not more — money now. Tell them that next semester they will have to earn money for their books and spending money at school. See what they do to earn and preserve their own wealth.

It is up to you how specific to get when discussing your estate planning with them, but I agree with your choice to do this gradually.

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