Want to break up? But Some People Don’t Take a Hint.

...Ask Any: Want to break up? But Some people just can’t take a hint.

Dear Any: A few months ago, I started casually dating "Babe" We first met being penpals and carried on, online.

Babe told me from the beginning that she had a very strict diet, didn't do drugs, drink alcohol and paid close attention to ingredients in products that she uses. I thought she was just an extremely healthy and health conscious, gal.

Babe recently demonstrated to me that she has a disease, she's a Juvenile Diabetic and has a boderline mental disease, Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder tinted with acute Narcissism as a neuroses and. maybe a borderline pychopath, which will cause issues with her personality, motor functions, hearing, speech and vision etc in that she's suicidal. She has attempted suicide. She thinks that she has another thirty or forty years at most, left of being able to fully care for herself, by herself -- before she can't do things like drive, or even walk. Her condition is possibly genetic, and definitely cultural due to being emotionally suppressed for the first 25 years of her life, before I met her, she'd likely pass it down to any children she may have. It may however skip a generation. She has told me she can't wait for me to die. She has to do this 'play the field,' while she's still young. She had had affairs. The daughter we have is not my biological daughter. I should go and find someone to be there for me. She's moving on, to let her do this, because she thinks I'm a looser. Another words I don' t have as much money as she thought I had. At this point I get the dreaded Silent treatment.

I didn't buy her a house, a resort and a car in the Philippines like her brother-in-law did for her sister.

Babe is a sweet gal with a big golden heart, but we've only dated for about three or four months, and I don't know if I want to sign up for thirty or forty years as a fiancee, being someone's caregiver, allowing her to care for me or be her finance, since I'll be retiring soon.

In short she's just an opportunist who covertly used and abused me to get access to America and realize her 'American Dream.'

I'm only 61, and I want to experience everything life has in store for me, in the time remaining including but not limited to enjoying my children, havin more and a family. And my biological clock is ticking, I'm not getting any younger.

I decided to end it with Babe. I started to pull back and tried to make it obvious that I was losing interest. She apparently didn't notice the signs, or take any hints so I told her that I felt it was better if we just 'remained friends.'

Any, it's like it didn't even register with her, what I said! She still emails me, calls and texts weekly, and sometimes monthly, talks about how much she likes me or loves me and about going on trips and vacation together overseas and meeting her family. And arranging finance to bring her nine brothers and sisters to America.

I don't feel right ghosting her, or leading her on so I responded to her, but I try not to make any plans, no plans of any kind with her or for her. I may married her but not her family.

Any, I really think she's looking for someone to take care of her, she wants to be a high maintenance kept woman. I don't want to hurt her or be cruel, but how do I make a clean break? And move on!

Unsure

Unsure: From your reporting, “Babe” has been very candid and upfront with you. She has actually said the words — out loud — and has been demonstrable, to that egfect in so many words, that give you pause and a pretty complete understanding of who she is, what she is dealing with and what's in store for her and you in the near future.

You have every right to break up with her ASAP — and I agree with you that you should, forthwith if not sooner. You obviously have no intention of staying with her, so don’t you think she deserves to hear the truth from you?

Tell her, "I'm moving on!," in no uncertain terms.

Hinting, pulling back, avoiding, saying, “Hey, let’s remain friends” isn’t working with her. Because when you say, “Let’s remain friends,” she believes you are being honest ( unfortunately, you are not ), and she thinks, “Great! We’re friends now, and so yes, let’s remain friends!” Stop wasting her time and yours.

Tell her, “I’m breaking up with you. I appreciate your honesty, but I find your mental health and in general health challenges overwhelming. You are a great gal, and I hope you will find the right person to be with, but I’m not that person.”

I'm moving on, starting over.