The Unexpected Catharsis of a Facebook & an Instagram Places, Location Page, Respectively.

The unexpected catharsis of a Facebook and Instagram places, and location page, respectively.

The growth of Facebook & Instagram in Thailand, Philippines and other developing countries has turned one little feature into an invaluable service.

This is also true for tribe and family members  that are traveling or geographical separated for a variety of economic and personal reasons trying to connect with one another.

After all today we live in a "Global Village," we work in one country, live in another and vacation in a third. You can jetset and be anywhere within 24 hours or less. Why with new planes LA to NYC is about 1 hour or less once airborne.

At some point in your adult life, birthdays become less about cakes and presents, and instead about that time of year when you feel existential dread about getting older. But it’s not often my own birthdays that trigger thoughts about complexities of aging, but the ones that remind me about life itself.

My wife's father was born on May 12th and mother on July 29th. The other day he would have turned 76, had he not passed away circa 1996. My mother died ten years later at 86. Both times I was traveling in the Middle East and Central Asia i.e.: Saudi Arabia, Kuwait/Iraq & Afghanistan. When I was in college- grad school, my wife's family and I would visit the motherland in Bangkok and Manila via Beijing, over the summer break in May, and our tradition was to always visit the temple where my dad’s ashes resided. To let him know we’d come home. We would leave a phuang malai (flower garland) by her grandparents' burial site and try to find the monk who officiated his funerals so we could say hello. When she was growing up, she would go with her brother to this temple every weekend. They'd climbed around the lamp posts, they'd danced around in the courtyard, and she was always fascinated by a rotary payphone in the hall; an object fast becoming obsolete, but still in use by monks and visitors alike. It was hard for everyone who worked there not to remember us. Bangkok is home, but that temple is where her heart is.

Again, at some point in my adult life, birthdays become less about sweets, cakes, drinks, parties and presents, and instead about that time of year when one feels existential dread about getting older. But it’s not often in my own birthdays that trigger thoughts about complexities of aging, but the ones that remind me about life itself, and it's philosophies, after all you can be young at heart. Age is just a number, I am reminded, it isn't the age, it's mileage.

My father and mother was born on December 12th, November 29th, respectively. That day he would have turned 96 yo, and my mother 86, had he not passed away in the 1980s, when I was working in Saudi Arabia; mom passed away in 1990s when I was in Kuwait/ Iraq & Afghanistan (mom stood by and did nothing but encourage the abuse), and both are buried in Heavens Gate Cemetery Seekon, MA. It took my brother 30 days to find me each time and tell me so. Which is okay, if I was there I'd piss on his grave (he was very abusive), anyway. My family and I would visit the motherland Portugal and Brava, Cape Verde Islands (former colony of Portugal) over the summer break in June, and our tradition was to always visit the grave where my grandparents’ coffins resided. To let him know we’d came home. We would leave a bouquet of flowers picked from his garden, by his burial site and try to find the priest who officiated his funeral so we could say hello. When I was growing up, we used to go to this site every weekend. My brother and I climbed around the lamp posts, if the cemetery was closed for maintenance, we danced around in the courtyard, of the chapel and I was always fascinated by a rotary payphone in the hall; an object fast becoming obsolete, but still in use by visitors and priests alike. It was hard for everyone who worked there not to remember us. E. Providence RI is home, but that chapel is where my would be heart is.

So when my wife who's 1/2 my age, her sister and mom went back to Thailand and the Philippines via Beijing this last year without me for the first time in three years(someone has to pay the bills), or so, all I could do was journey with them from afar as my daughter, wife and brother Instagrammed their way through the travel. But this year, he, my brother did something he hadn’t done in the past. He tagged every location he visited, leaving behind breadcrumbs that would lead me to the temple’s location page on Instagram and filling a void I didn’t know existed.

So when my wife, daughter, brother (some of his children) and my mom went back to Cape Verde Islands this past year without me for the first time in three years, all I could do was journey with them from afar as my brother, wife and wife Instagrammed and/or facebooked their way through the travel. With my daughter everything gets facebooked, if a pin dropped, she'll post it. But this year, he did something he hadn’t done in the past. He tagged every location he visited, leaving behind breadcrumbs that would lead me to the homestead, schoolhouse and church’s location page on Instagram and Facebook filling a void I didn’t know existed.

"A remote visitation, one image or story, at a time"

Between 2014 and 2018, Instagram’s user base in Thailand has grown from 1.4 million users to an astonishing 12.4 million. This meant more local users were uploading photos onto the social network, and subsequently tagging all the places they go. Before my brother’s Instagram, I had never thought to search and explore the temple there. (Typing in Thai is hard when you don’t use it every day.) Today, the location page is full of images of visitors touring all the corners of the temple grounds, one image or story at a time. Watching these strangers’ stories, I began to relive my own visits — there was the set of bells that greets you from the left of the entrance; the gold shrine that houses a statue of Buddha before the main building; and the tree trunk behind that shrine, which doubled as an oasis in the middle of the city that housed remains of those who’ve gone to the afterlife. And there was my dad, in his same spot as always. For as long as locals and tourists stopped by the temple, which is located near the popular bar area of Khao San Road, its Instagram location tag would always be populated by strangers who’ve unknowingly helped me visit him with every innocent click of the share button.

Sometimes I wrestle with the idea that for all the negative consequences of social media, there is a selfish part of me that can’t imagine it all going away. I think this is why it is difficult for me to quit Facebook or Instagram. These services began as something that felt personal and intimate, and it’s how I still prefer to use them today. However, as these technology businesses grow, they need to sustain themselves, leading to manipulative dark patterns designed to get you addicted to tech, or the data privacy debacles we have today. As social creatures, humans have an inherent need to share; it’s the data that gets shared and used for corporate profits that make us uneasy. Still, for all the shallowness of social media’s mission to “connect” people, we can’t deny that at the core, apps like Facebook and Instagram have intensified the way we find each other and discover ourselves.

A similar story is prevalent in other developing countries as facebook connects the other 2/3 of the world not connected to the internet.

"Again, a remote visitation, one image or daily story, at a time"

Between 2014 and 2018, Instagram’s user base in Cape Verde Islands has grown from .5M to 1.4 million users to an astonishing 12.4 million, expat users around the world. This meant more local users were uploading photos onto the social network, and subsequently tagging all the places they go. Before my daughter, wife and brother’s Instagram, and facebook I had never thought to search and explore the places of interest, there. (Typing in Krioulu is hard when you don’t use it every day and it's am unwritten language, so no set way to spell any word. The langusge is broken Portuguese and about 6 African languages thrown together.) Today, the location page is full of images of visitors touring all the corners of the 10 islands and their grounds, one image or story at a time. Watching these strangers’ stories, I began to relive my own visits — and the first 10 years of my life there, ...there was the set of bells that greets you from the left just above the entrance to the church at Nova Sintra Brava, Cape Verde; the shrine that houses a statue of Jesus & Virgin Mary before the main building; and the tree trunk behind that shrine, which doubled as an oasis in the middle of the city that housed remains of those who’ve gone to the afterlife. The homestead a fazenda, it's farms, store houses, store and buildings, where I lived and worked with my family there. The schoolhouse next door on the 2nd floor of the jailhouse. I attended the school up to the 3rd grade whereupon my mother sent for me to come to America. And there was my granddad, grandma and grate-grandma... in their same spot as always. For as long as locals and tourists stopped by the central city plaza, where everyone congregates, which is located near the popular store, bar & restaurant area, its Instagram location tag would always be populated by strangers who’ve unknowingly helped me visit them with every innocent click of the mouse & share button.

See more... https://www.instagram.com/_u/pongpat_to/

Sometimes, again, I wrestle with the idea that for all the negative consequences of social media, there is a selfish part of me that can’t imagine it all going away. I think this is why it is difficult for me to quit Facebook or Instagram. These services began as something that felt personal and intimate, and it’s how I still prefer to use them today and every day. I also update several blogs and pages. However, as these technology businesses grow, they need to sustain themselves, leading to manipulative dark patterns designed to get you addicted to tech, or the data privacy debacles or hacks we have seen today. As social creatures, humans have an inherent need to share; it’s the bridled data that gets shared and used for corporate profits that make us uneasy. Still, for all the shallowness of social media’s mission to “connect” people, we can’t deny that at the core, apps like Facebook and Instagram have indeed, intensified the way we find each other, our tribes and families and discover ourselves.

The reality is that there is no objectively good .com or internet company. For as long as everything costs something, we’ll always find ourselves paying for them whether it’s by monetary means, either directly or indirectly or otherwise by other means. The love of money is indeed the root of all evil.

My father was an entrepreneur before he passed. He had a store in Brava CV and various businesses in USA. I often wonder what he would have thought of Instagram if he was alive today. He loved taking pictures of us growing up. Would he be the hip kind of dad who gets social media? Would he have constantly asked me how apps worked, and if all the things they were saying in the news were true? Would he have sympathized with the business side of technology? My father died before we even had a computer in our house. He left this earth before he’d ever interacted with the internet. The same goes for my mother.

A year, before he died, he called me on my seventeenth birthday from his nursing home/ hospital room, where he was doing battle with cancer of the prostate ( my mother died of breast cancer ). He promised we would have a belated party, and that no matter what happens, he was always going to be with me. He apologized for being a bad father, wherein there wasn't a dry eye in the room and be consumed Jim Beam. He passed away a year and six days later, to that date, it seemed like 6 days later for me as I was traveling and never home, ...never knowing that one day, the internet would let me be the one to constantly check up on him and what he left behind.